You'll be in good company!
Evergreen mountain and other jokes
Coffee with soy milk, housekeeper M. and fine city lady no. 1:
– Madam waitress, (there are no waitresses in the mountains and the ladies are housekeepers) I would like to have a coffee.
– Yes, you can also get it with home-made milk without any problems.
– Yes, you know, but I would like one with rice milk.
– I am really sorry but I had to return the cow which produce rice milk to the shepherdess, but she gave me back the cow that gives coconut milk.
– Yes, madam, are you kidding me?
– Yes, it’s true, but who started it first?
Second version of joke, because the first one has become too well-known in the valley:
Fine lady no. 2 and her husband. The housekeeper lists all the possible dishes she can serve. A dialogue follows in which the wife lists the reasons to her husband why she doesn’t want certain foods. She doesn’t want beans because it will make her feel bloated, she doesn’t want goulash because the question is what kind of flour is in it. Then she ask housekeeper where in these parts you can get sour milk. Housekeeper answered: Up here above the hut, at the shepherdess’s. And when you get to her, tell her to bring back the cow that gives rice milk, because we have many guests with a select taste again. When the guests returned from the shepherdess’s (who knew the previous anecdote), they told the housekeeper that they had learned from the shepherdess that the cow that gives rice milk still has mastitis, so this cow can only give selected guests “sour milk”.
The Mountain markers visit the old woman and ask her: “Mom, can we leave a mark on your “plum” (meaning a tree, understood as a female organ)?” “Yes, but I’m not always at home.”
But be moderate with your “mountain” humor, at least out of respect for women, and also because the wives of the caretakers are the ones in charge in the huts!
A guest in a mountain hut informs the caretaker in a reluctant voice about the menu: “You really don’t have any choice at your place.”
The caretaker seriously: “Of course you have it. You can eat in our hut, or leave it hungry!”
And the dialogue wasn’t over yet…
When the mountaineer decided to eat jota (cabbage soup with meet), he asked the caretaker at the check-out: “Do you always have such bad food?” And he replied: “No, not at all. This is not the case on Mondays, as we are closed!”
Anecdotes from mountaineering guides and others
At The starting point of the exam for Mountaineering guides at the Poljčane cemetery. Before starting, the guide candidate asks the instructor: “Will we pass the exam when we bring a client (on that day clients role were playing instructors) to the top of mountains, or when at the end we leave them at the cemetery “britof?” 🙂
Well, that is why the instructors decided to end the exam tours at the top of Mountain (in Boč hut), as they are apparently afraid that someone would really “end up” on the cemetery due to an unsuccessful exam tour 🙂
(Adapted from the true story of a VPZS candidate who asked this with a serious voice and a buckwheat accent. 🙂)
Why do you have to put canned food in a PVC bag and backpack in the mountains? In addition to ecological reasons, it is also because mice don’t scare you all night long when you’re bivouacing by trying to drag an open can into theirs holes. In our case, the young guides chased away their fear of unfamiliar sounds by shouting: “Bemti miša.= Fu….. mices” In the middle of the night, they also debated whether it is allowed to kill a mouse which were disturbing the night’s peace… Just to clarify, even a hunter in the Triglav National Park is not allowed to kill a hedgehog, so we also adapted to the sounds and rules that apply in the “living room” of forest animals when bivouacing.
Why do snails on night bivouacs only lick the (un)beautiful mountaineers while they sleep? There are two answers to this. For some, they help them look better (snails liquids are used in face cosmetics), for others, so that they don’t look too beautiful. Well, some partners kissed their beloved mountaineer next morning despite being licked by a snail before:)
VPZS2021 guides we are not keen “performers” of BDSM practices, but we know that a whip is the answer to everything 🙂 At least to many exam questions for a PZS guide. We PZS guides from the 2021 generation were also connected by knots, especially whip knot, both in a physical sense and in beautiful memories. So that there is no mistake and that your thoughts do not wander… 🙂
We will soon add some of our internal forum or anecdotes…